The Gallery White

The theme for this week's Gallery courtesy of the wonderful Sticky Fingers Blog is white.  Here is my youngest looking a bit of all white when he was a few hours old. I was desperate for a home birth and went to all the home birth classes.  But my instinct told me to have him at hospital after Aspie Boy was born lifeless and in need of revival ten years earlier after only an hour's labour.  Dizzy finally came out thirty six hours after my waters broke and with three midwives yanking my feet up behind my ears to avoid shoulder dysctocia.  At 9lb 3, he was a big boy, too big for five foot nothing me.  He had an infection due to labour taking so long and we spent a further seven days at hospital so he could receive antibiotics through an IV in his little hand.  None of the clothes I had brought with me fitted him, so he spent the night in a vest and wrapped in towels and blankets like little baby Cheeses.

It couldn't have all been further from the homebirth I wanted, but the whiteness of those towels highlights the purity and freshness of a newborn life making a much anticipated arrival into the world.    

Groups For Mums A Guide for babies and toddlers in Southsea

Last Friday I went on a night out with the other Mums from our baby group.  We had a lovely meal at The Belle Isle - (but that's another post.)  A year ago, I could not have imagined doing that, ever!  I had a three month old baby, but I was terrified of the groups.   I went to La Leche when I was pregnant, to try and force myself to make friends with other Mums, but I just found the whole experience terrifying and a little bit soul destroying. I had done it all before, I love my baby, but I didn't want to just talk about sore boobs and pooy nappies like I was the first person it had ever happened to. It wasn't till I went to a clothing  party at On The Rocks that I met with one of the other Mums. "Why don't you come to the bumps and babies group?" She asked.

Bounce and rhyme when it used to be quiet!

I'd done it once, but left without even saying goodbye to anyone, so destroyed were my social skills.  Two years of talking to nobody but my very close friends, children and husband had turned me totally socially inept!

"Oh, I err, I didn't like it much."  I mumbled into my bucks fizz.

"Just come along,"  she said.  She took my number and text me all week to make sure I got involved when the next Bumps and Babies group took place.  What a woman.  She introduced me to everyone and next thing I knew, we were all having lunch at  The Slug. I had a great time and felt a total eejet for cutting off my face to spite my nose.  They are a lovely eclectic bunch.  From all walks of live and all corners of the globe!  I love my Mummy chums now and wouldn't be without them.

Bumps and babies are sadly no more.  Our babies got too big and I think they have been cut from the Portsmouth budget.  

We have been to some fab birthday parties

But Sure Start has been an absolute God send.  The group leaders for Southsea Aileen and Missy are really lovely and have time for all the babies and toddlers.

We have been going to the Sure Start  Monday group: 1-2.30pm at St Jude's Kent Road, Southsea

and 

Bounce and Rhyme: Thursday 1-2.30pm at St Swithuns, Waverley Road, Southsea

We even go out for drinks sans babies

These groups are fantastic but there are a lot of young babies there lying on the floor and suddenly, my little toddling rascal chunk who has a penchant for lobbing  bricks at random, has become one of the biggest there at only 16 months old, which makes the hall a minefield for soft fontanelles.  Eek!

So, I have compiled a list of toddler groups available in Southsea.  See you there!

Groups suitable for toddlers in Southsea that we will be trying soon, my good friends are using these already:

Monday 9.45 - 11.30: St Simons Church, Waverley Road - 50p for drink/biscuit

Tuesday: 9.30 - 11.30: Surestart Messy play at St Simons Church, Waverley Road: free

Friday: 12 - 14.30: Salvation Army on Albert Road: £1 for drink/biscuit




Other groups that we haven't tried yet:


Drop In

Eastney Methodist Church, Highland Road, Eastney, Portsmouth, Hants

---

Every Friday
1.30-3.00
Under 5's
Free of charge

An informal group for mums, dads and grandparents.
Drop In for a cup of tea and play with your children.
Art activities and guest speakers.
Information about other activities happening
within our centre.

Boogie Mites are great for older toddlers with a slightly longer attention span.  There is playtime, followed by singing songs with movement and drink and a biscuit afterwards.

Children Centres these are free but I think they need to be pre-booked.

Day	Children Centres
Monday	Penhale, Willows, Stamshaw
Tuesday	Anchorage Park
Wednesday	Paulsgrove, Highbury, Cockleshell, St Margaret Church, Baffins
Thursday	Saxon Shore, Medina
Friday	St Cuthberts

Contact your local Children Centres to get more details or log on to ask Sherlock (www.asksherlock.info) Portsmouth City Councils Family Information Service directory

Private Classes  £4 Autumn term starts week commencing September 13th.  

Day	Time	Venue	Suitable for Ages
Tuesday	10.00am	St Judes Church, Kent Road, Southsea	1 - 4yrs
Wednesday	09.15 am	Baffins Community Centre, Westover Road, Baffins	1 - 4yrs
	11.00am	St Margarets Church	0 - 1yr
Friday	9.45	Eastney Methodist Church	1-4 yrs

Eastney Methodist Church, Highland Road

Drop In And Cook

St Jude's Church, Kent Road, Southsea

Fri am, 9.30-11.30. Drop in group aimed at 2 1/2 yrs plus (younger siblings welcome)
Come and play, and join in a shared cooking activity each week (all veggie, lots of different recipes, very simple, tasting encouraged!)
No charge, term time only.

We always have toys to play with, both for younger children and for those who just 'don't want to cook today'. No pressure! Everyone joins in and helps a little. Either eat what we make or take home as you wish. Drop in and find out if you like us!!

Music Mad

Milton Village Hall , Milton Road, Southsea , Hants , PO

---

Monday, Tuesdays and Wednesdays 10am - 11am
Babies and toddlers
£2.50 per family

This is a really special singing group that the kids just love to go to. It's open for all babies up to school age children and costs just £2.50 per family. Upon arrival the children get to play with a number of musical instruments and toys before packing away ready for lots of singing and dancing to some great "action" songs. Then afterwards the kids get a drink and a biscuit and Mums and carers get a well-deserved coffee! I take the kids here every week and I thoroughly recommend it!

www.singandsign.com

---

Fareham, Portsmouth and Surrounding areas
New term and looking for something fun to do with your baby?

This is not only fun but educational!

Sing and Sign the award winning baby signing classes for babies between 6-24 months.


Saturday 9.45am Eastney Methodist Church, Southsea

Drop In And Cook

St Jude's Church, Kent Road, Southsea

Fri am, 9.30-11.30. Drop in group aimed at 2 1/2 yrs plus (younger siblings welcome)
Come and play, and join in a shared cooking activity each week (all veggie, lots of different recipes, very simple, tasting encouraged!)
No charge, term time only.

We always have toys to play with, both for younger children and for those who just 'don't want to cook today'. No pressure! Everyone joins in and helps a little. Either eat what we make or take home as you wish. Drop in and find out if you like us!!

Music Mad

Milton Village Hall , Milton Road, Southsea , Hants , PO

---

Monday, Tuesdays and Wednesdays 10am - 11am
Babies and toddlers
£2.50 per family

This is a really special singing group that the kids just love to go to. It's open for all babies up to school age children and costs just £2.50 per family. Upon arrival the children get to play with a number of musical instruments and toys before packing away ready for lots of singing and dancing to some great "action" songs. Then afterwards the kids get a drink and a biscuit and Mums and carers get a well-deserved coffee! I take the kids here every week and I thoroughly recommend it!

Silent Sunday - 5th December 2010

Guest Post by Mumra Blog Please Don't Hate Me - I didn't Sign Up For This!

I am super busy at the moment, trying to upload and photograph all my new stock before Christmas which means I'm not able to do any writing this week.  But my very lovely friend Mumra has kindly leant me her favourite and most popular post for all of you to enjoy.

It's a very funny and thought provoking article, you can read more of her fantastic blog here:

http://mumrara.blogspot.com/

So, without further ado, I present to you:

Please Don't Hate Me. I Didn't Sign Up For This

"The older I have got the more I have realised that I suffer from something I can only describe as limited social skills. It is not that I am not good with people, I am. Having worked in some sort of customer/client based job for nearly all my adult life I've had to be.

I also have friends, honestly I do. I love those friends dearly and I love their children. They are people I want to talk to, talk about, ask about. Strangers and new people I just don't deal too well with.

I'm lacking in certain areas. It is mainly because I don't like a lot of people and I'm not very good at covering it up...I'm not a confrontational person don't get me wrong. I'm just not very good at faking interest or appreciation.

This has become more of an issue for me since having Tabitha-Lo. At parenting class Jay and i would sneak in and sneak out. We sat at the back, whispered, giggled and made up stupid stories about the other people in our group. The only thing we got from the class was not to turn up to the next one and hope no one noticed.

I am aware we sound like really bad people, we are not. I can't really prove otherwise right here and now but please take my word for it.

My first morning i went to clinic getting Tabitha weighed i sat with my head down playing about on my iphone. Other mums were chatting about night feeds, telling birth stories. I was texting Jay telling him 'I am in hell'.

I know I need to address it, I want Tabitha to be a social child with lots of group activities to attend and I will have to take part in the school gate chatter at some point. It is so hard when you just don't care.

''Your sons how old? Does he sleep through? hmmmm reallly? Yes I know......Zzzzzzz. Sorry my head just fell off.''

Random people who approach small children in buggies are another issue for me. I get a lot of comments on Tabitha when we are out. I know its because she is a cutie and she blows raspberries but seriously! This is my shortlist of offenders....

1. Grannies who smell of wee or sherry and grab her face and call her a 'poor thing'.

2. Grandparents who fill you in on their grandchild/child ratio.

3. Teenage girls who say 'Oh My God How Cute!!' a lot.

4. And worst of all the parents who talk via their slightly older child 'look at the baby, isn't she lovely, say hello'

I'm really sorry but when i had a baby i did not sign up for a lifetime of walking round with a fixed grin and a pocket full of happy chat.

Some people will think I'm harsh or a miserable moody cow.

I'm really not I'm just out buying bread and milk."

By Mumra August 2010

So, how do you feel about well wishers poking their sixpence worth into your day? Do you swell with pride and enjoy the attention?  Or would you rather the ground just came along and swallowed you up like Mumra?  To be honest,  I was Mrs Anti-Social of Anti-Socialville until I had child number three recently.  I had decided that the best way to have a quiet and happy life was to avoid people at all costs.  So, day in day out for about two years, the only time I went out was to go to the post office to deliver my parcels.  I only communicated by text, sent emails and I developed an aversion and irrational fear of using the phone! 

Cup of tea and a cry anyone?

I realised it wasn't the way forward when I became so bad that I couldn't even take a call from my own Mum.  So, I started to force myself to go out to social groups when I was preggers.  And yes, I sat in the corner, nursing my cup of tea with a tear in my eye, not speaking to anyone  for the entire bumps and babies groups.  Who wants to do that?  I certainly didn't.  Of course, so many groups were like that and they didn't need to be.  

Lonely

So, I realised that the only way for me to get better was to turn things around and be the opposite of how I felt.  I made it my mission to make sure that no other new or pregnant Mum, was sitting in a room that I was in feeling like she was invisible or her baby was screaming too loud.  So, that's what I did.  I harnessed that acting training as Mumra suggested, got my groove on and made it my mission to be the annoying happy friendly one.  

Start the day with a Boudicca Cry!

After a while it stopped feeling like acting and became natural.  I now actually feel like the gregarious fearless teenager that I used to be all those years ago and if there's an invitation for anything - I'm there like a shot.  I also find that food or wine being on offer helps a lot.

So, fill us in, what are your social fears? How have you coped with the unwanted attention and cooiness that comes with having a gorgeous baby, that no one ever thought to tell you about  when you became a parent?